Monthly Archives: July 2008

It comes as no surprise why most nonbelievers suddenly “see the light” and profess faith in God when they’re laying on their deathbeds. Mortality ultimately forces everyone to accept all the things that they allowed themselves to deny thoughout life. These idiots defy both proven science and common sense by insisting that the entire universe somehow just popped up out of nowhere all on it’s own while having the audacity to accuse religious people of believing in magic. The hypocrisy doesn’t end there. I just snapped my fingers and made the cigarette that I’m smoking appear out of thin air, didn’t I? The simple fact is that no amount of scientific research can ever or will ever disprove the inevitable conclusion that everything we know to be reality couldn’t possibly exist without the presence of an omnipotent entity which had created it. That’s right. I said CREATED! BTW, skyscapers don’t just grow out of the ground either. Before anyone tries to use this as a means to bash religious belief, let me remind you that my argument is not theological and certainly not the case for any particular religion. It’s an argument of SCIENCE and COMMON SENSE. Any opposition should leave scripture out of the equation. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m hungry and my meal isn’t going to cook itself. We still believe in cooking, don’t we?

John McCain has a fine list of excellent potential running mates but none as fine as this.

Aside from the obvious possibility that she could be the first female Republican nominee for VP, the first female VP or even the first female POTUS somewhere in the future, Sarah Palin represents something far greater than just a win for women in the battle of the sexes.

This remarkable woman has made a major name for herself in American politics as a symbol of serious and positive reform in just the short time that she’s been Governor of Alaska.

Unlike Senator Clinton, she isn’t hated by half of the country. (Eat your heart out Hillary)

In fact, Palin is about as likeable and electable as any politician could get and that’s saying a lot.

She may also help a great deal in rallying women to vote for the Republican ticket.

Oh yeah, did I mention that she’s hot?

SHE’S HOT!!! (Again, eat your heart out Hillary)

Go here to learn more.

Words from a true American:

Jimmy Carter, you are the father of the Islamic Nazi movement. You threw the Shah under the bus, welcomed the Ayatollah home, and then lacked the spine to confront the terrorists when they took our embassy and our people hostage. You’re the runner-in-chief.

Bill Clinton, you played ring around the Lewinsky while the terrorists were at war with us. You got us into a fight with them in Somalia and then you ran from it. Your weak-willed responses to the U.S.S. Cole and the First Trade Center Bombing and Our Embassy Bombings emboldened the killers. Each time you failed to respond adequately, they grew bolder, until 9/11/2001.

John Kerry, dishonesty is your most prominent attribute. You lied about American Soldiers in Vietnam. Your military service, like your life, is more fiction than fact. You’ve accused our military of terrorizing women and children in Iraq. You called Iraq the wrong war, wrong place, wrong time, the same words you used to describe Vietnam. You’re a fake. You want to run from Iraq and abandon the Iraqis to murderers just as you did the Vietnamese. Iraq, like Vietnam, is another war that you were for, before you were against it.

John Murtha, you said our military was broken. You said we can’t win militarily in Iraq. You accused United States Marines of cold-blooded murder without proof and said we should redeploy to Okinawa. Okinawa, John? And the Democrats call you their military expert! Are you sure you didn’ t suffer a traumatic brain injury while you were off building your war hero resume? You’re a sad, pitiable, corrupt and washed up politician. You’re not a Marine, sir. You wouldn’t amount to a good pimple on a real Marine’s ass. You’re a phony and a disgrace. Run away, John.

Dick Durbin, you accused our Soldiers at Guantanamo of being Nazis, tenders of Soviet style gulags and as bad as the regime of Pol Pot, who murdered two million of his own people after your party abandoned Southeast Asia to the Communists. Now you want to abandon the Iraqis to the same fate. History was not a good teacher for you, was it? Lord help us! See Dick run.

Ted Kennedy, for days on end you held poster-sized pictures from Abu Ghraib in front of any available television camera. Al Jazeera quoted you saying that Iraqi’s torture chambers were open under new management. Did you see the news, Teddy? The Islamic Nazis demonstrated another beheading for you. If you truly supported our troops, you’d show the world poster-sized pictures of that atrocity and demand the annihilation of it. Your legislation stripping support from the South Vietnamese led to a communist victory there. You’re a bloated, drunken fool bent on repeating the same historical blunder that turned freedom-seeking people over to homicidal, genocidal maniacs. To paraphrase John Murtha, all while sitting on your wide, gin-soaked rear-end in Washington .

Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Carl Levine, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Russ Feingold, Hillary Clinton, Pat Leahy, Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, the Hollywood Leftist morons, et al, ad nauseam: Every time you stand in front of television cameras and broadcast to the Islamic Nazis that we went to war because our President lied, that the war is wrong and our Soldiers are torturers, that we should leave Iraq, you give the Islamic butchers – the same ones that tortured and mutilated American Soldiers – cause to think that we’ll run away again, and all they have to do is hang on a little longer. It is inevitable that we, the infidels, will have to defeat the Islamic jihadists. Better to do it now on their turf, than later on ours after they have gained both strength and momentum.

American news media, the New York Times particularly: Each time you publish stories about national defense secrets and our intelligence gathering methods, you become one united with the sub-human pieces of camel dung that torture and mutilate the bodies of American Soldiers. You can’t strike up the courage to publish cartoons, but you can help Al Qaeda destroy my country. Actually, you are more dangerous to us than Al Qaeda is. Think about that each time you face Mecca to admire your Pulitzer.

You are America’s ‘AXIS OF IDIOTS.’ Your Collective Stupidity will destroy us. Self-serving politics and terrorist-abetting news scoops are more important to you than our national security or the lives of innocent civilians and Soldiers. It bothers you that defending ourselves gets in the way of your elitist sport of politics and your ignorant editorializing. There is as much blood on your hands as is on the hands of murdering terrorists. Don’t ever doubt that. Your frolics will only serve to extend this war as they extended Vietnam. If you want our Soldiers home as you claim, knock off the crap and try supporting your country ahead of supporting your silly political aims and aiding our enemies.

Yes, I’m questioning your patriotism. Your loyalty ends with self. I’m also questioning why you’re stealing air that decent Americans could be breathing. You don’t deserve the protection of our men and women in uniform. You need to run away from this war, this country. Leave the war to the people who have the will to see it through and the country to people who are willing to defend it.

No, Mr. President, you don’t get off the hook, either. Our country has two enemies: Those who want to destroy us from the outside and those who attempt it from within. Your Soldiers are dealing with the outside force. It’s your obligation to support them by confronting the AXIS OF IDIOTS.

America must hear it from you that these self-centered people are harming our country, abetting the enemy and endangering our safety. Well up a little anger, please, and channel it toward the appropriate target. You must prosecute those who leak national security secrets to the media. You must prosecute those in the media who knowingly publish those secrets.

Our Soldiers need you to confront the enemy that they cannot. They need you to do it now.

Semper Fi,

J. D. Pendry – Sergeant Major, USMC, Ret

I see no reason why any honest person would find Senator Gramm’s recent comments to be controversial.

Is your plasma TV not big enough?

You poor little thing!

Did your digital cable go out for a few hours twice already just this year?

Here’s a tissue.

Did you have to do without electricity for a few hours because of a severe thunderstorm sometime in the past year?

HEAVEN FORBID!

Did your brand new sports car bust a tire today?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Do you not have enough food to gain that extra 50 pounds that you’re just dying to put on?

SOMEONE MUST PAY FOR THIS!

Is the Viagra no longer working as well as it used to?

IT’S ALL BUSH’S FAULT!!!

I could go on about this all day but I trust my point is clear.

GOD GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!

Now, shut up, sit down, stuff your ungrateful face with Filet Mignon and drink your Champagne.

If the Viagra still isn’t good enough for playtime, tell your well trained doctor to give you Levitra or Cialis instead.

Porn Guru Reginald B. Stiffwell had an ass itch that refused to go away. He dug and he scratched and he dug and he scratched but his torment persisted. In search of a viable remedy, he first tried a cold compress but soon learned that it only worsened the problem as the twisted hair was now frozen into it’s uncomfortable position. He then tried using tater mits but was only left with a bloody mess and a few less layers of skin. This introduced a whole new set of problems for our now less than silent hero. Frustrated and given to temptation, he decided to employ the use of a prostitute who claimed to have the power of healing in her saliva. Again, hooker spit proved to be another useless excuse for a cure. At his wits end and desperate to the extreme, he then opened a bottle blackberry merlot and proceeded to get tanked. Within minutes, the agony ceased and his only remaining dilemma was differentiating between the blood and the booze. The moral to this story is that alcohol is the reason for and solution to all of lifes problems.

BOTTOMS UP!!!