MIDGET MAFIA ATTACKS JEWISH MAFIA

THIS IS A FOX NEWS ALERT!  It has been reported that the Midget Mafia has just attacked the Jewish Mafia.  Jewish Mafia Don, Chickadee has escaped injury, but some of her enforcers, David Schwimmer, Newhart, and Andy Levy were kicked in the shins and bitten on the knees.  It is now known that the Rainbow Brite Gang, a faction within the Midget Mob, has claimed responsibility.  They are sending a message to Chickadee which is, “Rainbow Brite is here to stay!  I have planted a sparkle dust bomb at Chicks’ headquarters, scheduled to go off in exactly one minute after this message is broadcast.”

A word of advice to Chickadee from Fox News:  Midgets are attracted to sugar packets.  It is a weakness that few know about.  It is also a tool that could be used in capturing them.  Good luck.

This has been a FOX NEWS ALERT!  More on this story as it develops.  Now back to RedEye already in progress. 

Golden Girls

It wasn’t long ago that a certain 20 year old friend of ours (who shall remain nameless for his own protection) felt it necessary to express his “personal feelings” for the lovely and talented Ms. Betty White. This prompted me to respond “Are we onto Greatgilfs now?” Is there a growing desire among American men for the love and companionship of elderly women? What would be the consequences of such a trend? I beg you all for the sake of your country to weigh in on this all important issue because whether you’re helping them across the street or out of their pajamas, old ladies are ladies too.