Everyones basement tends to get too cluttered from time to time and this is one of those times for me. I can hardly even walk around down there right now without stepping on something or someone, living or dead. In my drunkenness, I mistakenly made a few too many trips to South America and am now left with an overwhelming surplus of young men littering even the crawspace. On top of it all, my incinerator crapped out and that makes disposal a major issue. So if you’re in the market, send me an email! Dead or alive, I’ve got just what you’re looking for! Prices starting at $199.95!
Daily Archives: February 10th, 2008
I don’t care what anyone says, following Clooney from gay bar to gay bar is no easy task. Tracking George Clooney calls for an unbelieveable amount of caution. If he becomes suspcious he gives off an extra amount of smugness. This can be dangerous. I have given my word to stop the Clooney hypocrisy by capturing him and keeping him in my basement, which will then make the world a safer, more smug-free place to exist. Facts have shown that global warming is due only to the smugness given off by Clooney. He must be stopped.
I have contacted my superior Chickadee and informed her of Clooney’s whereabouts. He is at The ManHole having a drink with one of my informants, Gerardo. Clooney seems to be unaware that I am tracking him. The weapons that would normally be used to capture someone had to be revised in this case. For instance guilt, this is something that is useless on someone who has no shame, and throwing things, his giant self-righteous jaw can deflect almost anything. No, something different must be implemented. The options are smacking him up a little to get him off guard, then by putting into place the genital cuff. I am a big believer in the genital cuff. It will render him useless(like he isn’t already!), and it will render him helpless by stopping the production of smugness. Only then will the world be safe. Gerardo has now won his trust and Clooney has successfully drank all of his roofie-colada. The time has come to make my move….I must GET CLOONEY!!
