HOPE!
CHANGE!
YES WE CAN DO WHAT?
Spew out an endless amount of nonsensical rhetoric that’s about as substantive as one of my beer farts?
Pardon me if I seem disrespectful.
I’m just tired of waiting for the “good Senator” to explain in detail just exactly how he hopes to accomplish all of his ridiculous pipe dreams.
Why is no one challenging him on the issues?
Don’t you just feel like invading Pakistan today?
Baby boy is going to need to “CHANGE” his diaper if he makes it to the White House.
I know that I’ve stated this before at DG and other forums but I once again feel it necessary to offer some friendly advice to the idiots who are stupid enough to use this unbelievably ignorant term.
GRAB A DICTIONARY!
Look up the prefix “NEO”.
Then, look up the word “CONSERVATIVE”.
Then, look up the word “OXYMORON”, MORONS!!!
Don’t you want to quit making fools of yourselves?
PS : I apologize if I was incorrect in my assumption that you can actually read.
I pledge allegiance to Mama’s Bitch Flag of the United Gang of The Gut, and to Red Eye for which it stands, one GutGang under Greg, indivisible, with houseboys and housegirls for all!
PS : If you don’t love wankette, you’re worse than someone masturbating to pictures of Hitler!
The 21-year-old Wisconsin superdelegate Jason Rae backs Obama. “He cited Obama’s support from an overwhelming majority of young voters as the major reason for his decision”.
I Know this may shock some to see a Democrat Superdelegate use such Profound Logic and Reasoning to select a candidate. I can not think of a better reason to back a candidate
~PERVOTARD~
~Noun~
An individual who enjoys, or is aroused by deviant sexual activity, but lacks the skill to perform it properly. Usually due to inexperience, ignorance, or laziness.
Raul Castro has stated that he intends to make certain “structural changes” as Cuba’s new Head of State but it’s unlikely to be anything significant. It clearly reeks of trading one dictator for another of the same blood who will have more time for photo ops with Chavez. You never know, they might even bring in Mahmoud for what would undoubtedly be a historical portrait that I’m sure everyone on Earth would love to have hanging in their living room. Let’s not forget about T-shirts either. That being said, I’d like to consider the other possibilities. Might there be elements within the Cuban population or perhaps even our own government that will see this as an opportunity to overthrow an oppressive regime led by a newer, weaker and less experienced tyrant? One can only hope. The only certainty is that the world is a better place without Fidel at his nations helm. Did I mention that I can’t stand commies?
I CAN’T STAND COMMIES!!!
I find the controversy over the Superdelegates to be all too amusing. When even left wing pundits themselves express concern and admit that there’s a problem, I laugh even harder. How can anyone expect these morons to decide how best to run the country when they can’t even decide how they want to go about deciding for who they want to decide on? Republican strategist Andrea Tantaros made a comment on FNC about how the “Democratic Party” has the least democratic treatment of it’s voters. I certainly don’t advocate something as dangerous as absolute democracy but I can’t stand mislabelings either. Why don’t they either change the name of their party or stop disenfranchising the electorate? In any case, the worst is yet to come because the real feces has yet to collide with the rotating coolant device. Start popping the popcorn now!
PS : Our good friend Bob Beckel said something this morning about Professor Gore being selected to mediate and preside over the decision. It doesn’t get any better than this.
I have heard a lot about the Jewish mafia lately. But their power pales in comparison to the power of the Japanese mafia. We are by far the most dominant criminal organization on the face of the Earth. Our leader Kelly Hu can not be defeated! Here is a list of ten of our accomplishments:1. The invention of the twinkie.2. Creating American Idol.3. The nuclear attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.4. Sesame Street.5. Will Ferrel.6. The New England Patriots.7. Yorkshire Pudding.8. Six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.9. The Pajama Gram commercials.10. and the Vermont Teddy Bear commercials.There are many more accomplishments. But this is just a small list of them. But be careful. Those who fail to respect our power will suffer mightily!
THIS IS A FOX NEWS ALERT! It has been reported that the Midget Mafia has just attacked the Jewish Mafia. Jewish Mafia Don, Chickadee has escaped injury, but some of her enforcers, David Schwimmer, Newhart, and Andy Levy were kicked in the shins and bitten on the knees. It is now known that the Rainbow Brite Gang, a faction within the Midget Mob, has claimed responsibility. They are sending a message to Chickadee which is, “Rainbow Brite is here to stay! I have planted a sparkle dust bomb at Chicks’ headquarters, scheduled to go off in exactly one minute after this message is broadcast.”
A word of advice to Chickadee from Fox News: Midgets are attracted to sugar packets. It is a weakness that few know about. It is also a tool that could be used in capturing them. Good luck.
This has been a FOX NEWS ALERT! More on this story as it develops. Now back to RedEye already in progress.
It wasn’t long ago that a certain 20 year old friend of ours (who shall remain nameless for his own protection) felt it necessary to express his “personal feelings” for the lovely and talented Ms. Betty White. This prompted me to respond “Are we onto Greatgilfs now?” Is there a growing desire among American men for the love and companionship of elderly women? What would be the consequences of such a trend? I beg you all for the sake of your country to weigh in on this all important issue because whether you’re helping them across the street or out of their pajamas, old ladies are ladies too.
The alley and lack of newspaper makes for cold living
"Teacher reveals he taught high school for 17 years without being able to read, write or spell."
John Corcoran graduated from college and taught high school for 17 years without being able to read, write or spell.What do you think?
Obama has a large following because he is for change and bringing everyone together.
What are the changes Obama will make to allow this to happen? He has never said what his plan for change involves, just that we need change.
Agreed we need change, will Obama’s change be good for us or will it has a negative effect on our country. Answer is no can answer because Obama has never explained what his plan is.
The Anti-Christ will bring all together for the good of all. This is the promise of Obama. Many are excited about his plan for the good of us all, yet they have no idea what it is.
Many are following the great Obama blindly to what end???????
This is NOT saying Obama is the Anti-Christ. This is about how easily people today will blindly follow someone who promises happiness, without knowing how they will get there.
I’m just barely old enough to remember a time when people used phones for necessity rather than convenience. I just received a call from one of my brothers who had no reason for calling me other than his own boredom. I couldn’t help but ask him if his cable went out. Am I a bad person for not wanting to sit on the phone and talk about NOTHING!? It’s more tedious than watching CNN. I think that his time and mine would be more well spent doing something productive rather than yacking on about the same old crap with the same rhetorical blather. I only dial someone up when I feel like I need to and I certainly don’t keep them on the line for hours, rambling on about things that we both already know. If you or someone you know is a phone junkie, you might be worse than Hitler with a cell!
the person who is in fifth place?
Seriously? In the olympics only the WINNER gets a gold medal. The best in their event at that time wins the gold medal. The fifth place person/team does not get a medal. All those kids out there who get medals no matter how bad they are seem to think… “oh hey I can suck and still win!” That’s not how it should be. People who honestly work hard, do their best, and make their good better and their better best should get the gold medals. All this “feel good” BS is getting out of hand. It is creating a generation of children who think they can do whatever they want and still be winners. NO! They need to be told, listen, you didn’t get a medal this time but if you work harder and do better hey you might get one. That will create pride and ownership in their win. As the quote from the movie “The Rock” goes… “Losers go home, winners go home and fuc% the prom queen.” That’s how it’s done. You want to go home with the prom queen (sorry ladies only quote like that I have) you have to be the winner. Fifth place doesn’t get the prom queen now does it? NO! WINNERS get the queen. (okay got side tracked a little bit) If the kids notice that only the true winners get gold medals they will hopefully try harder to succeed and hopefully get off their ever increasingly sized butts and work harder to get that gold! Maybe create way more incentives to win? That might do it… I don’t know.
Everyones basement tends to get too cluttered from time to time and this is one of those times for me. I can hardly even walk around down there right now without stepping on something or someone, living or dead. In my drunkenness, I mistakenly made a few too many trips to South America and am now left with an overwhelming surplus of young men littering even the crawspace. On top of it all, my incinerator crapped out and that makes disposal a major issue. So if you’re in the market, send me an email! Dead or alive, I’ve got just what you’re looking for! Prices starting at $199.95!
I don’t care what anyone says, following Clooney from gay bar to gay bar is no easy task. Tracking George Clooney calls for an unbelieveable amount of caution. If he becomes suspcious he gives off an extra amount of smugness. This can be dangerous. I have given my word to stop the Clooney hypocrisy by capturing him and keeping him in my basement, which will then make the world a safer, more smug-free place to exist. Facts have shown that global warming is due only to the smugness given off by Clooney. He must be stopped.
I have contacted my superior Chickadee and informed her of Clooney’s whereabouts. He is at The ManHole having a drink with one of my informants, Gerardo. Clooney seems to be unaware that I am tracking him. The weapons that would normally be used to capture someone had to be revised in this case. For instance guilt, this is something that is useless on someone who has no shame, and throwing things, his giant self-righteous jaw can deflect almost anything. No, something different must be implemented. The options are smacking him up a little to get him off guard, then by putting into place the genital cuff. I am a big believer in the genital cuff. It will render him useless(like he isn’t already!), and it will render him helpless by stopping the production of smugness. Only then will the world be safe. Gerardo has now won his trust and Clooney has successfully drank all of his roofie-colada. The time has come to make my move….I must GET CLOONEY!!
You can die for us but don’t train here. I don’t think we need a President, we need a Dicktator to kick some butt.
Wonder how they will feel when the people runnung around with the guns aren’t the Marines
Greg felt it necessary to elaborate on this issue and, being passionate about it myself, I do as well. For these bay area morons to ridicule and disenfranchise the selfless people whose sacrifices not only protect their sorry asses from being beheaded by barbarians but also afford them the right to exercise their freedoms seems almost deliberately ignorant. If I were a marine, I’d probably like to do a Code Red on Code Pink because they obviously can’t handle the truth. Just for once, I’d like to see some of these anti-war activists go to the middle east themselves and try telling the Jihadists to “BE NICE”!!! After all, who wouldn’t take the advice of people who are soo very wise? I’m sure they could’ve touched Hitler’s heart too.
GOD BLESS OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN!
Huck-a-who?
So Mike Huckabee says he’s going to stay right where he is, and still run for president. Granted I understand that it looks bad for him, but so what? You definitely have to give him credit for holding on like he has. A lot of people drop out of the races to show that they understand that they are not their parties’ choice.
One thing you have to admit, though, is that we have all heard that quitters never win. And of course, we all know the story of the tortoise and the hare. People have been know to come from behind and win, even if they were way behind. Mitt Romney may have even dropped out because he didn’t think he could win, but also just to see what would happen with Huckabee.
On the other side, we have Barack and Hillary being congenial and we keep hearing that whoever wins, the other will probably be their running mate. Maybe, maybe not. The two may be nice to each other now, but we know that the two have had some very severe disagreements on policy and other issues. I could be way off base though, especially with the two nearly neck and neck with their delegates. With them running so evenly, they may have quite a bit of support from their own party and possibly within the independent vote, come November.
No matter who gets elected, on either side, it is certainly shaping up to be very interesting.
I’m also hosting a new poll over at my website. Who do you think will be the two candidates for president?
Like most right leaning people, I’ve always been completely disgusted by the left wing hypocrisy of the MSM and this incident is one of the most offensive to date. Can you imagine the uproar there would be if, say, Bill O’Reilly had been the one to make bathtub boy’s comment about Slick Willy and Richardson? Olby wouldn’t just spend half his time spewing his hatred for O’Reilly, he’d host a 2 hour long special on both MSDNC and NBC calling for the heads of everyone at Fox on a platter. There would be discussion panels around the clock on all the other networks as well all the way from now until November. The liberals at every major media outlet in America would mobilize their brainwashed minions and inspire them to start race riots all over the country which they would then blame on FNC and, of course, the Bush administration. In my opinion, what little right wing media there is doesn’t seem to be addressing this enough. I’ll end it to say that I wasn’t personally offended by the comment and I don’t think it was racist but, as we all know, it would’ve been if a conservative had said it.
The mess, the clean up and that awful smell! What is one to do? There are a few options. The best and most efficient way to dispose of the corpses is incineration. It’s quick, easy and leaves absolutely no evidence. However, having an incinerator in ones home is costly and most often inconvenient. For people who live near the ocean and own boats, burial at sea is a good choice but requires a massive investment in cinderblocks. Another good option is to feed the remains to living houseboys, housegirls, pets, annoying guests, etc. In any case, this is a growing problem and we must demand that the next President offer us a solution. I’m currently planning a trip to our nations capital to lobby for aggressive legislation. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Benito is due for his daily beating and Yelena is ready to play!
Hi everybody! Ya know, I was thinking the other day, like I do sometimes, and a couple things occured to me. Most guys that I’ve ever encountered just dont’ know how to act when they go to a stripper bar, so I thought of a few do’s and don’ts to help with those of you who are idiots. OK? Here we go…
1. First and foremost, ALWAYS tip your waitress. Why? Because at the places I worked at, they WILL do stuff to your drink, and because it’s just good bar etiquette.
2. If you are sitting at sniffers row up at the stage, TIP THE GIRLS!!! Otherwise, why the hell are you there??
3. BE NICE!!!! Do I really need to explain that one?? I mean, come on…
4. If you are sitting at a table and one of the girls comes around to “entertain” you and your buddies, there are a few things you should NEVER EVER do! For example, DO NOT EVER heat up a quarter with a lighter and throw it at the girls! It isn’t funny, even though you may think it is in your twisted head, it isn’t. I saw many girls get nasty burns on their more sensitive areas and had to be taken to the ER in some cases. Jackasses. Never try to grab the dancer by the g-string, or the hair, or the boobs,or the vag, or anywhere and here’s why: You will get your ASS kicked! haha! Usually, both by the dancer and by the bouncer! Believe me if your ass is gonna get kicked, you want it to be by the bouncer. HAHAHAHA! Ok, sorry, just found that funny is all, anyway…to continue…
5. When you go to tip the dancer, DON’T EVER stick a dollar in her g-string and try to pull out a twenty, again, you will promptly be beaten, and you will deserve it!
6. Even though you will be most likely pounding drinks, stay in the here and now. What do I mean by that? The dancers aren’t there to meet the great love of their life in these places. If they are, you have to wonder what their motives are don’t you? Unless you WANT to be taken for everything you have. I’ve seen it happen people!
7. Do I really have to say NO HITTING?? Ok then…
8. I noticed that most of you have nothing to say other than pick up lines. Save it please. You are not original, and by no means is it the FIRST time this girl has heard whatever it is you have to say along these lines. Unless it is her very first day ever. So please do not say, ” You got the purdiest big ol cow eyes I ever did see!” or, “Are you a model?” Trust me, you sound like a retard and like you’ve never even seen a girl before. Just be yourself and act like a human and that in itself may get you laid. No promises though. hahaha!
9. If you are engaging in a private dance in the VIP room, please keep your dick in your pants. Trust me, the dancer does NOT want to see it, nor in some cases smell it. Take a bath you dirty bastards! You know who you are! Also, pay the girl BEFORE she begins. She is already earning her money just by having to deal with you.
10. If you are sitting at sniffers row, and you have the bright idea to get up on stage with the dancer, JUST DON’T! I mean, what are you gonna do up there? Show off that nasty sweater-back of yours, or your hairy man-boobs? Please spare all of us by just sitting the f*&# down and shutting the f*&# up!!!! Again, you will get yourself beaten.
Well this is all I can come up with right now, when I think of something else I’ll put it out there to ya. Oh yeah, the dancers are people too, and they are trying to make a living, so don’t make their job any harder than it already is. If you think it’s easy money, it is not. The bottom line…Just don’t be a dick, ok? If you want to abuse someone then go home and abuse your houseboys! That’s why you have them!! Remember????
Well allow me first to preface this article with me saying I’m not racist or bigoted in anyway. These are simply true stories and observations. STORIES: I have noticed that when black people say they want equal rights and to be desegregated they tend to not be true to their word. I have noticed in several situations that when a group of diverse people are put into a situation the blacks tend to segregate themselves. For instance at work, when in the break room the black associates tend to sit together. On a bus, I was riding a bus and there was already a black couple sitting together and at a later stop a few more black people got on and decided to sit next to them without having seemed the two groups knew each other. So, I ask, why did they fight so hard to be desegregated and they still choose to segregate themselves? STORY/OBSERVATION: I work with a girl who is going to school to pursue a degree in criminal justice. She for a paper had to find a newspaper article of a crime/criminal and write 5 pages about the socioeconomic factors of the crime/criminal. I told her all she had to do was simply find an article where the criminal was a young black man and the paper will basically write itself. I hate to be brutally honest there but it’s true. 1 in 4 black men below the age of 30 are in jail/prison or have been in jail/prison. It’s a shame that statistic has to be true. I feel if more was done to help the family structure of the black community this statistic will dwindle dramatically.
Often the question is: How did a part Jewish/part Christian girl become a mob boss for the Jewish mafia? Answer: The Godfather was stepping down. The other family members decided to have a “rock, paper, scissors” competition to see who would be next. My move in “rock, paper scissors” was a punch to the solar plexus and to the face. The Godfather liked that. He said I was “feisty.”
My next move? My enforcers. Interestingly enough, Levy and Newhart weren’t my first enforcers. David Schwimmer was. He’s a cold little bastard. He tried to take out Clooney for me once with a bass fish to the face. All that did was make Clooney more smug.
There are many reasons why you should fear “The Levy” and this is just the most recent. A man in Mongolia was just found dead, lying face down in a pile of horse dung. Apparently, he had spent most of his day ranting and raving about his hatred for felines. The Mongolian government is acting quickly to enact the Levy law as well as other measures to outlaw defamation of cats. It’s sweeping the whole world! Where will it end? Are the aliens next?
PS : The Jewish Mafia officially denies any claims of activity in Mongolia.
“Degenerate” – I don’t know why. It’s just awesome. So descriptive. So appropriate in so many situations.
The Hollywood writers guild is having a strike. Apparently since November or something. Who knew? I guess it would help if I watched something other than “Cops” episodes. I wonder if Hollywood has noticed how very disposable they are. Movies are no longer considered “must see” or “events” anymore. I haven’t truly enjoyed a Academy award winning movie in quite a while. “Munich” should be used to torture terrorists in Guantanamo because it’s so bloody boring. Then again the terrorists would probably like it considering the disgraceful stereotypes of Jews used in that movie. TV shows just aren’t watched by everyone. In the 80’s, EVERYONE knew who shot J.R. Now – “Lost” is apparently the thing to watch, yet I’ve never seen an episode. Once the writer’s strike is truly felt, the only thing that’ll be on the TV is “Cops” episodes and maybe old “America’s Next Top Model.” Everyone I know has suddenly decided that they have so much more time when they’re not chained to the TV and aren’t even missing their favorite shows.
I do have a suggestion for the TV network if the strike continues and they need TV show suggestions - they could give Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon a reality show. They could randomly call people who disagree with them Hitler, go on fake fasts with Jamba Juice, act all self-righteous regarding the global warming, pretend they’re still popular, and buy environmentally friendly toilet paper. Or they could just drive off a canyon edge ala “Thelma and Louise.” Call it the best season finale ever!
So, apparently the internet has been cut off to a significant part of the world’s populations from an off course anchor. While this seems ridiculous to us decadent Americans, we must understand that the rest of the world doesn’t have OC3 connections hooked up to big fat internet pipes. Still, the question arises, should all these poorly served foreigners take advantage of the many benefits and challenges of the internet without first being required to suffer through a period of BBS access, as we did in the early 1990’s. Surely they should be forced to sift through a glut of UFO conspiracy text files and ASCII based multiplayer games before they face the horrors of two girls one cup?
“See, I love minorities! I even touch them!”
Picture courtesy of Sir Andrew.It’s like I’m a big girl now! But now, I’ve got nothing to say. Except that I need to stop watching “America’s Next Top Model.” I’m pretty sure it’s making me stupid, um, stupider.
Well, that was unimpressive…..
So who do you think will win the game on Sunday? I’m thinking it will probably be the Brady Bunch, but who knows. Brady might really have an injured ankle, or maybe the Pats will have an off game. The Giants are pretty good, so it wouldn’t surprise me at all if there were an upset.
It’d be cool for the Pats to have a perfect season though.
Well lets see… McCain won the 57 delegates from my state here in FL. I hope to God, this will serve as a wake up call to the conservatives out there that we can not let that stand. Already it seems that Rush, Hannity, and Coulter have come out in support of Romney. Let’s hope the people who listen to those people will do the same. If we (as American citizens) allow that new breed of conservativism to blossom, I fear that the polices and beliefs we’ve come to know and love will be forever tarnished. It’s also a shame that the governors of FL, TX, and CA who are supposed to be the ulitmate leaders of their Republican Parties for their respective states seem to think this new breed of conservativism is good for the country. It is not. It will only bring us more in line with the liberals who think that more & bigger government is the answer. More taxes, more limits on freedom, less nationality, and enviromentalism is the way to go. I warn you… it is NOT! More money needs to be in OUR pockets-not those of the politicians, we need freedom and more nationality to do what we do best–BE AMERICANS!, and enviromentalism-okay I’ll give you that it’s wise to be good stewards of the enviroment, but not at the pace and seemingness of a religon (carbon credits = sin tax)??? We need a business leader in this great nation to run the biggest business of them all… THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. If there are agencies that need to be fired, do it. Cost-cutting mesaures… do it. In summation, Conservatives–WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! This is an imminent situation and all ya’ll need to get out there to VOTE and take this country back before it’s taken from us!
